So Fresh and So Clean

i. Absolution

This morning, I went to my first confession in almost two years. All I can say about it is that I initially knocked the priest speechless with the stuff I confessed, and that the whole thing took around fifteen minutes to finish.

It seems that it's going to take more than good intentions or motives to fix my life. The priest suggested me nipping the problem at its bud - that means I should stop staying in the condo where I do the majority of my shit.

Nah. Can't happen.

ii. Losing It

Yes, I know that I haven't been blogging much lately. It's not that there's nothing blogworthy happening in my life, or that I've given up blogging again. It's just that...

I seem to have lost my muse.

I just can't seem to write anymore - whether short stories, school essays, marketing papers, or blog entries. Whenever I try to write I end up either staring at the computer or playing solitaire. Oh, and I'm not as O.C. in making my entries pleasant to read. I used to edit each entry at least four times before finally publishing it; I'm publishing this entry on the first edit.

I think I can only really write only when I'm really happy or when I'm really fucked up. Now, I just feel like I'm drifting from day to day just waiting for something good to happen to me. Kaso wala pa. Tangina, bilisan mo.

iii. Last Year

... something beautiful happened.

I'm not talking about what happened exactly one year ago, but last year's version of the event that's happening tonight.

Some of the best photos to have ever graced human sight were taken that night. And one guy thought he could never be happier. Malabo, alam ko.

I need something to do tonight. Something, anything.