It's a Conspiracy
i.
I was at home, practically drooling over the smell of KFC wafting from my neighbor's unit, so I decided to pass by KFC for lunch before attending my Theology 131 class. On my way to KFC (which was a 2-minute walk from my condo), I encountered two pairs of deaf-mutes/mutes conversing in sign language, which was quite unusual, considering that I've only come across a single mute person in the Katipunan area in the three years I've been staying here.
Anyway, I got to KFC, ordered myself a chicken steak (yes, I know I'm a cheapskate), and settled at my usual second floor table - the one overlooking Katipunan. As usual, there was a group of tambay goons seated right across me. After wolfing down my meal, I started reading the required Theology readings (a totally fallacious treatise on masturbation; but I preempt myself, more on that later). To my surprise, the group of goons seated near me started conversing in sign language, and after a while they began laughing with these weird soundless laughs.
I swear, they were talking about me. The guy who did most of the "talking" kept on glancing at me, and kept rubbing or pointing to his scalp, as if to say "... the bald guy over there." And his friends kept on laughing their weird, disconcerting laughs. I'm not discriminating or anything against the disabled, but that was just plain fucked up. Anyway, I couldn't concentrate on my reading, so I went out for my usual post-meal cigarette. Surprise, surprise - as soon as I lighted up, another group of mute goon-looking people started up an animated conversation near me. I just found it plain weird, so I hurriedly finished the stick and got a trike to Ateneo.
ii.
Apparently, St. Thomas Aquinas believed that masturbation was worse than rape in the eyes of God. His reasoning: rape, while gravely wrong by itself, is a natural act because it occurs between a man and a woman; masturbation, on the other hand, is un-natural because it is an extreme perversion of the procreative functions of our God-given genitals. But don't chimpanzees, and other primates with reversible thumbs, masturbate in the wild? Methinks that's primal enough to call natural.
Think about it - life would be so much more interesting if rape were indeed less a sin than masturbation. Rape me now, girls! Haha.
I was at home, practically drooling over the smell of KFC wafting from my neighbor's unit, so I decided to pass by KFC for lunch before attending my Theology 131 class. On my way to KFC (which was a 2-minute walk from my condo), I encountered two pairs of deaf-mutes/mutes conversing in sign language, which was quite unusual, considering that I've only come across a single mute person in the Katipunan area in the three years I've been staying here.
Anyway, I got to KFC, ordered myself a chicken steak (yes, I know I'm a cheapskate), and settled at my usual second floor table - the one overlooking Katipunan. As usual, there was a group of tambay goons seated right across me. After wolfing down my meal, I started reading the required Theology readings (a totally fallacious treatise on masturbation; but I preempt myself, more on that later). To my surprise, the group of goons seated near me started conversing in sign language, and after a while they began laughing with these weird soundless laughs.
I swear, they were talking about me. The guy who did most of the "talking" kept on glancing at me, and kept rubbing or pointing to his scalp, as if to say "... the bald guy over there." And his friends kept on laughing their weird, disconcerting laughs. I'm not discriminating or anything against the disabled, but that was just plain fucked up. Anyway, I couldn't concentrate on my reading, so I went out for my usual post-meal cigarette. Surprise, surprise - as soon as I lighted up, another group of mute goon-looking people started up an animated conversation near me. I just found it plain weird, so I hurriedly finished the stick and got a trike to Ateneo.
ii.
Apparently, St. Thomas Aquinas believed that masturbation was worse than rape in the eyes of God. His reasoning: rape, while gravely wrong by itself, is a natural act because it occurs between a man and a woman; masturbation, on the other hand, is un-natural because it is an extreme perversion of the procreative functions of our God-given genitals. But don't chimpanzees, and other primates with reversible thumbs, masturbate in the wild? Methinks that's primal enough to call natural.
Think about it - life would be so much more interesting if rape were indeed less a sin than masturbation. Rape me now, girls! Haha.
posted by Jonathan at 2:50 PM
1 Comments:
baka may nakasulat sa t-shirt mo na nakkatawa para sa kanila, o di kaya di mo namamalayang may dumikit sa ulo/mukha mo na kung anong kukarikapu.
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