When a Loved One Suffers From Clinical Depression

I borrowed this essay from the multiply site of a new contact of mine. I know I'm not the type of guy who plagiarizes quotes or essays from other websites, but trust me - this case is particularly different.

Why?

Can I just say that this topic is particularly close to my heart?

Yeah, I guess that would do.

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A Reflection by Melissa G. Lim:

Whenever I clear the dishwasher, my mind very quickly brings me back to those days, not too long ago, when I couldn’t do the same without experiencing a panic attack. I had often asked why such a simple task would cause my heart to race and bring about so much fear. It was so senseless and yet the fear was so real. My body would shake and I couldn’t wait to get the task over with. I would then have to struggle to the couch and then roll into a fetus position to calm myself down. If I had not experience it myself, I would scoff at the very thought.

My mind now wanders on to what my husband and children thought and felt. I know how it pained them to catch me in such a position. I know, because, although they didn’t say anything, their eyes spoke so clearly. Today, I constantly thank the freedom which I experience- the freedom to get up readily and willingly and to be able to walk around and do whatever I want in the ABSENCE of fear.

From time to time, when the children and I pray together on our drive out, Jeremy, our son, would thank God, similarly, for the activities he is involved in and he would then lift up those who cannot enjoy the same. I believe Jeremy and I pray similar prayers because we both have survived clinical depression. Perhaps we were allowed depression into our lives to teach us how to value life and to enable us to lift others in prayer and in action.

Depression is such a horrid, agonizing, dark living hell. Unless you are in deep sleep, each moment, each micro-second, is experienced as such. What has prompted me to write today is to plead for the others who are suffering at the moment. Be there, touch and let the other know that you still TREASURE his/her presence. Listen and allow the other to voice what he/she is experiencing. It may be senseless to you, but what he/she is experiencing is very real. MINIMIZE pointing out that the individual has so much to live for. It will only make the other feel worse because those positive outlooks just slip right through their fingers. For those whose chemical balance is in synchrony, positive outlooks are like “secure rocks” which can be stepped on to bring the individual one step closer to happiness. It is so sad and frustrating that the depressed cannot “catch” and “hang onto” these words. As frustrating as it is, BE THERE, HOLD the person’s hand, and WALK with him/her…step by step.

I would like to extend my heartfelt gratitude of love to each of you who reached out to me, showing me that I was still a valuable citizen of planet earth in the midst of my brokenness. It took several of them, many who I had least expected and who I now treasure so dearly, who took a moment to touch me or to say hello and others who managed to take one or more steps with me. Not everyone can be there, but the COMBINED little gestures of love and the numerous prayers and medication is what kept my spirit alive.