In Which He is Overwhelmed

I woke up an hour or so ago after seven hours of sleep.

At 11 o'clock this morning, I took my cough syrup and popped two Tylenols - I think I might have the flu, you see - set my alarm clock for 1 in the afternoon, and took a short nap.

I completely passed out and woke up at 6:30 in the evening, with five messages on my cellphone from various people who were looking for me. I'm really sorry, friends. I hope you understand.

Now it's 7 o'clock and I'm wide awake.

I really should be studying for my Econometrics long test tomorrow afternoon, working on the punchy sample article for Slate magazine that was due today, or starting to work on my group's one-month late superproject paper for POM - but I just can't bring myself to.

It's one of those Friday nights that are on the butt end of one hell week, and on the cusp of another - when you usually go out with your friends, spend half the past week's allowance to get yourself happily drunk, and flirt with a girl (or two) hoping she's as drunk enough as you are to make your night worthwhile.

But no - I'm going to be in the condo the whole night. It's not that I really should be doing my school work. I'm just too lonely.

I haven't felt like this in months. I don't know - I guess I've been too busy since school started to actually bother with being lonely. But I'm as busy now as I've always been, and I just can't bring myself to work.

Right now, I just want to be underneath a bright, cloudless, summer night. I want to be in Cuenca Park in Ayala Alabang. I want to just be silent, be satisfied, be happy - to just be - counting stars with somebody on a stone bench in the middle of nowhere.

Loneliness can be so overwhelming sometimes.