Midnight Entry # 7 - Greyscale

They don't make parties like they used to anymore.

Or at least that's the way I tend to explain the general dullness of the events that I to go to nowadays. I was supposed to go to this year's AJMA Shindig at BMW Libis, but it was getting kind of late, so I decided to take a cab to Embassy instead, thinking that I would have a lot of friends there to hang around with.

Well, as usual, nobody showed up. Everyone keeps ditching me. I hate it when people tell you that they're going or following and they end up not even texting you, and hence you keep checking your phone for the rest of the night to check if they've already arrived. Whatever happened to the sanctity of the spoken (or in this case, texted) Word?

Okay, enough ranting.

I guess what I just want to say is that things are just so dull. Everything's just not as vibrant and colorful as it used to be. Sure, there are some abso-fucking-lutely spectacular moments or parties in my life, but they're getting fewer and further between periods of maddeningly mundane boredom. And it doesn't matter if I have an fantastic new polo or pair of shoes, or if I have thousands of new interesting stories to tell: no-one's looking and no-one's listening. Everything's just so frustratingly mundane.

I know that I'm just probably getting older, and that maybe I'm still not used to how things are now. And yeah, I know I that it's probably time for me to move on to bigger, better, and brighter things - things that you all will probably tell me I deserve. But I just can't - I just find it too difficult; I don't know where I'm supposed to go. I need an overdose of deus ex machina in this story: a golden, oversized roadsign dropping down from heaven, pointing me in the direction I'm supposed to go, along with detailed instructions of what I need to do to attain what I want to get - no, what I deserve to get. I'm not saying that I'm a saint, mind you - but I sure could use that long-overdue dosage of good karma now. Hello universe, can you hear me?

I'm just so tired of this greyness. I want to see color again - even if it's just in the redness of a drop of blood before turns rust-brown, or in the sweet temporary deluge of hues that fills the sky in the few moments just before the sun peeks above the horizon.

Someone, something: please come along and color this pencil-sketch existence of mine the way children do with their first box of crayons - uncoordinated, offkey, lampas-lampas (yeah, that was what I used to call it when I was young) and all. Please.

And speaking of greyness: the Third Season of Grey's Anatomy has now officially begun. I actually have something to look forward to again. Whoopeedoo. (You've got to admit, that was a pretty witty segue.)