A Rather Morbid Post

i. I'm Dying

Yes, I am; aren't we all? I've been having these splitting headaches (yeah, hence the title of the blog) for almost a week now, and my stomach's getting annoyingly acidic by the day. I've been taking two to four Tylenol Extra Strength tablets every day for the headaches, and another two or three Kremil-S tablets daily for the dyspepsia. They aren't fucking working. I hate it.

Argh, the joys of stress. At least there's just one week of school left.

I got thirteen hours of sleep last night; that seems to have alleviated my symptoms temporarily at least - until I got around to actually studying that is - and my head started throbbing and now, shit I'm here writing, hoping that by writing it down I'd get rid of it.

And this is weird considering that I'm actually my lifestyle's relatively quite healthier now. I'm drinking significantly less - I've only gotten drunk once in the past month, I think, and even that wasn't roaring drunk. That's a big achievement considering that I spent most of the school year getting drunk at least twice a week. And I'm smoking quite less too; now I'm down to approximately a pack a day, compared to two packs a day for most of the school year. And yeah - I've been clean (if you get what I mean) for exactly a month now. This calls for a celebration! Hehe. So there, I don't quite understand why I'm feeling like this.

Ah yes, I'm rambling. I can't concentrate because of my damn headache, damn it. And on to the next section we go.

ii. On Death

And since I think I'm dying, I figured that I want to leave a will of sorts before I die. Haha.

Friends, when I die, I want you to dedicate a beer, or a shot, or a pitcher - whatever your poison is - to me every week. And prior to drinking it (bottoms-up, I should say), I want you to say something witty and clever and tearjerking (Or should I say tearjerky? Hehe) about me. For example,

To Jonat, who never really quit despite whining like a horse on coke (and was hung like one too), who loved like there was no tomorrow, and drank like he loved. Amen. Cheers!

Promise me this, okay?

iii. On Aging

I was in SBC just a few hours ago to study for my DevEco finals tomorrow at seven-thirty in the morning. I ordered my usual drink - a quad white chocolate mocha with a shot of raspberry, non-fat and no whipped, if you're curious - and was quite surprised to see the barista stifling a laugh. Apparently SBC's baristas aren't that used to customizing drinks as compared to Starbucks', so I forgave her for finding it funny.

And it certainly helped that the new barista was kind of cute in a weird weird way. On my way back to my table, I found myself feeling sort of weird for getting a crush on a barista. I mean, she was old, right?

Then it hit me - she was, at most, probably only two years older than me.

I'd better get used to being twenty. Watch out for my overdue "Turning Twenty" post.

iv. A Life Project

Oh, and since I'm dying, I'd just like to announce (Ahem.) that I'm starting to write a novel. I kid you not, friends. It's not like I'm going to publish it or anything; I just feel like writing one.

It's going to be about a slightly overweight, very insecure young man who grew up in the 90s, and who lives in the suburbs south of Manila. I hope to finish it just in time for graduation next year.

Yes, I am crazy. I know.